Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
