ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
