Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
