My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
