At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
