She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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