Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is wine microwaveable?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
