Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
