Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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