Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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