yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize