Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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