Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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