I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
