so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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