That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
