The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
