So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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