Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
