so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
