there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
