he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
