I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There r osticjed everywhere
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
