We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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