i permit you to call me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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