We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
