oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize