I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
