And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
