bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
