Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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