im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
