so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
