Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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