why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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