I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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