Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
