I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
this will be a night to untag.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
