we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
