Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
