Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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