Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
