Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
