Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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