OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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