1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize