Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He better not be in your backpack
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
