she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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