so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
