You're so nebulous sometimes
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize