Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
