I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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