I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
