My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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