and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My vagina is officially offended.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
