worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
