just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
