It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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