Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
