Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
