I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize